Barbie turns 50

She's just turned fifty, but she's wearing well – thanks to being fashioned out of the kind of plastic which needs no surgery.

Love her or hate her, Barbie is undeniably a significant cultural icon of our times. To some, this doll represents an adorable image of femininity, to others, she is a loathsome symbol of body fascism.

Her feet are forever on tiptoe, to accommodate the highest of heels. No sensible walking shoes for her. Her legs are long but, in standard models, unbending. Only special models like Disco Barbie get to flex their knees.

Her lips are pink and pouting, her bland expression non-threatening, her blue eyes slightly glazed. Her breathtaking hour-glass figure would be the envy of Victorian maidens squeezed into rib-crushing corsets of the kind that used to bring on fainting fits.

The average woman may curse her plastic perfection, but some little girls still love her, from her long synthetic hair down to her shiny stilettos.

There are fears that such children could be brainwashed into thinking that blonde, busty and leggy is the ideal feminine form, leading to low self-esteem, anorexia and other disorders if they don't measure up, but surely this is taking the doll's influence too seriously.

Mattel may have created a model of monstrous proportions, but it's far-fetched to claim that her image sullies the innocence of little girls, who see her merely as a pretty plaything, not as a symbol of something more sinister.

If there is anything dangerous about her it must be her annoying accessories, which are often strewn around the floor during play and are small, pointy and particularly painful if trodden on.

Equally irritating are her tiny tops and skin-tight trousers, which are so fiddly that little fingers can take them off, but not put them on again, leading to a glut of naked plastic limbs sticking out of the toy box in a still life orgy.

When Barbie is stripped of her clothing, we can see just how anatomically incorrect she is: Look, no nipples. And below the waist, a strange lacy pattern which doubles for a pair of knickers.

Barbie may be appear to be built in the image of a teenage boy's fantasy, but as a sex symbol she is a disappointment. Strip her down to the bare essentials and there is something lacking. You can dress her up any way you want, but she'll never be more than a dumb bland clothes-horse.